Mentoring in a School Context
What’s good in you and how can you get more of it?
What is mentoring?
To mentor is to support a person in their own learning as they develop and maximise their skills so that they become the person that they want to be. It is a sharing of knowledge from one person to the other, with the mentor helping the mentee to learn rather than teaching them. It adds to what the mentee already knows and has experienced.
Why mentor in schools?
Professional work is complex and demanding. Learning how to think, talk and act as a teacher is a lifelong process that requires theoretical training and practical experience.
Who is involved in the mentoring process?
The mentee who wishes to learn and the mentor who has the desired knowledge, experience and wisdom in a particular subject or skill.
Whose responsibility is the learning process?
Both the mentor and the mentee. When you agree to enter into a mentoring relationship, you each take on the responsibility for your own part in the conversation and situation.
Remember: if you are here now, you will be there then. Ask yourself the following question as you think of your goals:
I want to be mentored in………..because……. so that……
Your present behaviour will determine whether you reach your goals or not. What small step will you take in the next 24hrs that will set you on that path?
How do you choose a mentor?
Once you have determined what learning you require, look for a person who demonstrates experience in that field. Observe the way in which they carry out their responsibilities. Trust is built through the observation of consistency in character and behaviour over a protracted period of time. Bring your own lived experience and both of you will learn, although the learning may be different.
‘If I genuinely listen to you and walk in your shoes then I actually might end up changing my view of the world … Trust is the key.’
- Paul Browning
How does the mentoring process work?
‘Begin with the end in mind.’
- Stephen Covey
Psychological safety is key to establishing a successful mentoring relationship. The following four skills will help the mentee and the mentor to build the necessary trust, sensitivity, and mutual respect:
Listen – Using the beginner’s mind, do not judge the words, and do not try to understand them. Simply listen to hear. Notice tone, facial expression, and body language, as these will help you to pick up understanding, emphasis, and direction.
Respect – Derived from the Latin ‘respectare’ meaning ‘to look again’.
Both mentee and mentor must respect each other to achieve the desired growth.
The first gaze is often utilitarian; Who are you? What can you do for me? Do I like you? Do I like what you are saying?
The second gaze is respectful, a choice to look again with a curious mind, to discover the story, meaning and motivations of the other.
‘To respect someone is to look for the springs that feed the pool of their experience.’
- William Isaacs
Mutual respect frees you up to think together, and clarify what learning is required and how best to work together.
‘The quality of everything we do depends on the quality of the thinking we do first. The quality of our thinking depends on the way we treat each other while we are thinking.’
- Nancy Kline
Suspend
Be aware of your spontaneous response to the other, and be careful not to leap to justifying your opinion. Be humble. In this moment of suspension, do not think in terms of right or wrong; rather notice what is helpful or unhelpful.
Voice
While continuing to listen, respect and suspend, carefully voice what you are hearing and experiencing. Be aware of how you feel as you speak the words.
Be courageous in voicing what you actually think, and trust both your own ability and that of the other to connect and understand.
Be solution-focused;
Change and growth are often uncomfortable, even when positive. Acknowledge the discomfort and then focus on what is working, and not on what is not working
Use positive language. E.g. ‘I notice your strength in…..’ or ‘Have you encountered a similar situation and what did you do to manage it successfully?’
Ask; what could you do more of? What could you do less of?
Some simple practical steps for effective mentoring:
Agree on a schedule and stick to it as consistently as possible.
Be on time.
Be aware of your physical presence; although mentoring can take place anywhere, focus is best maintained when seated in two chairs, facing one another slightly side-on, with no desk between you.
Maintain comfortable eye contact.
Smile! Relax, and keep a sense of humour.
A great mentoring experience for both mentor and mentee begins with self-reflection, the setting of a goal, and a commitment to taking a step forward together in both professional and personal growth. As you continue to dedicate time, effort and commitment to transforming your present knowledge by including new perspectives and understanding, you will discover that this is a solutions-focused way of being that continues even after you have achieved your initial objectives, which will allow for continued growth of self, your talents, skills, and expertise.
Resources
Browning, P. (2020) Principled: 10 leadership practices for building trust. Brisbane: University of Queensland
Covey, S. (2004) The 7 habits of Highly Effective People. New York: Free Press
Isaacs, W. (1999) Dialogue: The Art of Thinking Together. New York: Doubleday